At the moment I really feel like I've created a place for myself here. I feel like I've established a role in the family, not just with Stephan, Sabine and the girls but with extended family too. This city is everyday, more and more, my city. My social networks and connections are growing and Stephan, Sabine and I now have to discuss who can go out on which nights and who's with the kids. And where the language for so long made me continuously aware that I was a foreigner, I now no longer feel like an outsider. It used to be that I could pick out from miles away if someone were speaking English, for example. It was the only thing I could understand if I were out. But now IF I recognize it, it is only because It seems so funny to hear it.

This is not the point where I tell you all that I've decided to stay longer, or move somewhere else. You must believe me when I say that I am so looking forward to be home. I truly feel that it is time to be back with family and friends. AND I am really looking forward to starting something new. But I have in a way created a kind of home here. Don't take offense, nothing could replace all of you and my feeling when I'm with you all in Seattle. But I also have something special here. Inspite of ups and downs over the year, what I have here is wonderful and the people I've met and the relationships I've formed, are in their own way irreplaceable.

The reality of leaving Germany in November is sinking in and it's a bittersweet feeling all around. Sometimes, from one moment to the next, I'm not sure if I'm sad or excited, if i want to cry or jump for joy.

What do you do when your heart is in two places at once?!

K.